I hate you, hate you, hate you. I hate the fact that everything always revolves around you, you hate to be that beautiful, that perfect, one that can and should always have it all. I hate you steal anything, I only steal one of my current passions, make-up, and bring up something your all and do everything they can to help you cultivate this passion, and even if I have this passion to anyone cares nothing. I hate you could sleep all day without eating and to me that I am undertaking an obligation to do so. I hate that you're always the one that can stay out late, one that never does anything wrong, what if a fight with mom and dad, now we must make peace because they can not stay angry with their perfect little daughter. I hate that now that I started going to the gym constantly and always try to humiliate me, to tell me that is so useless, so I'm fat and not dimagrirò anyway. I hate the fact that you make me suffer, I cry, I pissed off and I eat. Because you know that if I am angry and sad, I eat to excess and I can not control myself. So do everything to destroy, kill, make me feel bad and eat. I hate you because you're beautiful sister, loved, desired, envied. I hate you because you're better than me , and I remember every fucking day. Even if I try to ignore you, you're always there, ready to hurt me.
Last night I had managed to control myself until after dinner, but before you go out with Ema, I ate 4 slices of bread and Nutella. I hate me, hate me, hate me!
DA today:
breakfast: an apple (90 kcal)
Snack: air
Lunch: rice (450 kcal)
Snack: air
Dinner provided air
Total: 540 kcal
Today I weigh myself but I'm too afraid of the scale and I have not done. Tomorrow begins a new week and I have to be able to recover my self-control and slam that bitch.
A hug,
Michela.
0 comments:
Post a Comment